Christmas Party Networking: What Would Santa Do?

Holiday season is here, hooray!  OK, maybe not hooray for everyone.  Not everyone celebrates Christmas.  Those who do sometimes feel pressured to spend more money and time on gifts and activities than they’d like, all the while projecting a façade of holiday cheer, in order to avoid disappointing others.  But the season is what it is and it’s not going to change.  If you can talk yourself into the right frame of mind, it’s probably possible to get something more valuable out of Christmas than 10 extra pounds and a stack of bills to pay.  Let’s talk about it.

Holidays mean parties and parties are about renewing and creating relationships.  If you go to the right parties you will have a good time, if you let yourself.  So why not go for it and make the holidays work for you?

Christmas party invitations will slip into your inbox and give you decisions to make.  Chances are you will not have the time, energy, or money to accept all of your invitations.  One way to plan your December calendar is to divide your party possibilities into business and social categories and edit from there.

It might be most enjoyable for you to attend a mix of business related and social occasions, to promote a healthy work-life balance for yourself.  Social invitations can be ranked according to your relationship with the host.  You’ll be happy to turn out for a party given by a dear friend or favorite cousin with a bottle of wine or some other host gift in hand, because you are a good friend and a good guest.  If you are a member of a social organization, you may choose to attend that party as well.

Professional association parties require a more carefully crafted strategy, because networking with the goal of identifying someone with whom you can create a potentially profitable business relationship will be on your mind.  Which parties are likely to offer good networking opportunities along with an atmosphere that makes it fun to catch up and schmooze with colleagues? There will be an admission charge and cash bar.  Where might you get the best value-added? Ask yourself two questions and evaluate your choices:

  1. Who are my best business prospects?

To which industries do you sell your products and/or services? Are your customers B2B, B2C, or B2G, for-profit or not-for-profit, small, medium or Fortune 1000? What are the job titles of the decision-makers and key influencers?

     2.   Where might I meet those prospects?

If your customers are small businesses, then chambers of commerce or neighborhood business associations are good places to find business owners, who are the decision-maker for all important products and services.

If your customers are Fortune 1000 or even prosperous mid-size businesses, you’ll be better off joining a committee or the board of a not-for-profit organization, or exploring service clubs such as the Kiwanis or Rotary Club, which are hubs for professionals who want to volunteer their services.  You will be much more likely to find decision-makers at the philanthropic organizations.  Invest your time and talent and get to know potential prospects and referral sources as you demonstrate your competencies and leadership skills through the service work that you do.

If networking is your purpose for attending a party, you’ll have more success meeting people when you go alone.  You’ll be forced to introduce yourself and talk with others and in so doing, you’ll meet people whom you may not have met if you brought along your spouse, good friend, or colleague.

Nearly all party invitations are now sent by Evite and that gives guests the huge advantage of seeing who has signed up to attend.  Otherwise, if you have the right relationship, call the host to RSVP by phone and tactfully inquire about the guest list.  Don’t be ashamed to perform an internet and social media search to help yourself prepare talking points and questions for guests you’d like to reconnect with or meet.

Finally, figure out the party dress code.  A Sunday afternoon tree trimming party at the home of friends or family means relaxed business casual attire.  Wear business attire to professional association parties, which are nearly always held on a week night. Gatherings at someone’s home or at a social organization on a Friday or Saturday evening can mean that guests will wear anything from black-tie to more relaxed, yet festive attire.

Now, go check your email!

Thanks for reading,

Kim

Image: Roman Sarcophagus (detail), 240-260 BC    Courtesy of the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art  Kansas City, MO

 

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Stress Takes A Holiday

The holiday season has arrived and with it a boatload of potential stressors, good and bad. The delight of being a party host or guest are examples of good stress (and if this is not the case, your stress management assignment begins with asking yourself why you bother?).  The process of Christmas shopping and the associated costs of time and money, along with holiday cooking and cleaning, are examples of potentially bad stress.  In this post, I offer stress management techniques that can prove to be beneficial all year round.

Time management and boundaries

The always-on 24/7 lifestyle that so many of us feel compelled to lead is a huge stressor. The ability to set priorities and boundaries is more important than ever.  In most cases, there is no need to be available for professional matters before 8:00 AM or after 8:00 PM.

In your personal life,  learn to say no to controlling people and time-wasters, even if those individuals happen to be family members.  Have the courage to acknowledge what is important to you and distance yourself from manipulative people. Unhook your feelings of self-worth from the need to “save” people.  Help yourself to achieve goals and fulfill responsibilities by making lists and schedules and allow yourself sufficient time to complete tasks.  Learn to delegate.  Accept that some tasks are low priority and may need to be removed from your list.

Anger management

Learning to handle our emotions is a lifelong proposition.  Awareness is the first step.  Be advised that all of our emotions are “justified” because that is how we feel at that time.  It is your right and responsibility to define and acknowledge the emotions you feel.  The skill set called Emotional Intelligence teaches us to refrain from allowing our emotions to overwhelm us, cloud our judgment and lead us to do or say things that may damage our relationships and credibility.

Anticipate encounters with people who you may find upsetting and rehearse your responses to words and behaviors that you may experience as hostile and disrespectful.  Role play with yourself replies that could potentially defuse a stressful conversation and allow you to put distance between yourself and the stressor, limiting contact and helping you to control your emotions.  Be mindful that some people enjoy trouble and they are constant agitators.  They crave attention and control.  Do what you can to banish these individuals from your life.

Exercise

Exercise releases into the body hormones (endorphins and serotonin) that counteract the “fight or flight” response hormones that are released when we are under stress (adrenaline, ACTH).  Exercise also improves the functioning of the immune system and in the process helps us to fight off certain diseases.  Some experts recommend that we would be wise to participate in physical activity four or five days a week, for at least 45 minutes per session. You may play a sport, ride a bike, swim, walk, do aerobics, yoga, Pilates and/or lift weights. Experiment with different types of exercise to learn what you like and do it on a regular basis.  Exercise provides physical release and reduces tension and stress, calms and clears the mind, helps us to sleep better and improves self-esteem.

Meditation

The relaxation response is enabled by meditation and other self-regulated relaxation techniques.  Meditation requires only a few minutes of your time and a private, quiet and comfortable location.  Watch a YouTube video to show you what to do.  Shut off the television and your telephone.  Choose a word or short phrase to silently repeat to yourself as you close your eyes and breathe in and out, slowly and deeply.  Meditation enthusiasts recommend that you meditate early in the morning before starting your day, or in the evening just before dinner.

Sleep

Inadequate sleep is epidemic these days and it is seriously detrimental to one’s health and ability to manage stress.  Surprisingly, sleep deprivation contributes to weight gain by releasing the stress hormone cortisol, which increases appetite.  When we are fatigued, our choice of foods is usually unhealthy and laden with sugar for an energy boost, or high fat, or salty.  The stage is then set for taking on unwanted pounds.

Being tired undermines creativity, judgment and decision-making, productivity and self-discipline.  Do what you can to get in those eight hours each night.  Be advised that caffeine and alcohol are for many the enemies of sleep and intake should be limited near to bedtime.

Nutrition

Physical, mental and emotional stressors drain the body of complex nutrients that support optimal physical and cognitive functioning.  If these nutrients are not replaced fairly quickly, coping skills diminish, decision-making ability suffers, fatigue ensues, mood and emotional control deteriorate.

Avoid the temptation to consume foods high in fat, salt, or sugar, or consume excess caffeine or alcohol, while in the midst of a stressful event.  Do yourself a favor and eat a bagel with peanut butter, a rice bowl with vegetables, a sandwich, or a plate of pasta.  Over the long-term, eat a balanced diet that supplies adequate amounts of green vegetables, fruits, proteins and carbohydrates.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

The Stress Syndrome

We are on the cusp of the holiday season.  It’s a special time of year but sadly, it is often freighted with challenges.  Responsibilities metastasize and usually include some combination of peeling potatoes; coring and slicing apples; ironing table cloths; Christmas shopping; writing cards; and putting up decorations. Obligations such as attending workplace or family parties can feel like a burden. The expectation (sometimes forced) to have  fun might backfire and instead cause you to feel inadequate if you’re unable to get into a festive mood. Humbug!

Despite the bright lights and parties, the stress level for most of us reaches an annual high at this time of year. The Thanksgiving – Christmas – New Year’s Eve axis can overwhelm the best of us.  It’s easy to feel lonely, or even like a failure.  Business owners and Freelancers may be faced with the realization that income projections were not reached, adding to the anxiety.

What is the antidote? I suggest that a two or three-week out-of-town vacation is the ideal remedy.  Other than buying and writing cards (which can be done while away) and taking care of a short gift list, all other stress-inducing elements could be diplomatically sidestepped. Those unable to budget the time and money to de-camp to the Bahamas are encouraged to put into motion a comprehensive stress management program.

Regardless of the season, stress is a condition that spares no age cohort or socioeconomic stratum.  School children become stressed over homework and piano lessons. Their parents become stressed as a result of a long work commute or increased job responsibilities. Please know that there is good stress, too—buying a home, going away to college, getting married and starting a new job bring into your life stress that emanates from positive events.

The sources of stress will vary, but the need to manage those stressors and the related hassles and anxiety is constant. Giving some thought to how and why the stressful situation occurs is Step One of your stress management program and brainstorming possible changes that might remove or diminish the stress is Step Two.  Improving one’s ability to manage stress by developing coping skills and learning to relax is Step Three.

Stress management is a multi-disciplinary process that includes managing time, adequate sleep, good nutrition, exercise, anger management and relaxation techniques.  Next week, I’ll return with some specific suggestions.

Happy Thanksgiving and thanks for reading,

Kim